THE WISDOM EXTRACTION

Well that was mad. After being assured that pain was kept to a minimum and that I wouldn't feel a thing ... what a fucking lie! 

A direct quote from Sebastian Page last night on Blackberry Messenger - "They use a hammer. Get their leg up on the chair for good leverage. Then bang bang .... YANK!!!"

That's probably a more accurate description compared to what the dentist tells you. 

I had the weirdest feeling injections first. My lower lip quivered for a second, only to find the numbing effect taking place. Now we had 10 minutes to kill while the proper numbing reached full effect. I was told to sign a contract (which i dutifully obliged) and was told what to expect. 5 minutes later .....

A clamp the size of a fucking arm hovered over my half-open eyes, and clamped my sodding tooth on the bottom. Now normally, wisdom teeth are extracted fairly easily without much pain (like my top one). But this was impacted or something, mine meaning it grew sideways and was lying flat. 

"We'll cut open the gums, remove some bone, proceed inside, drill the tooth into three sections, and then we're done", said the dentist.

"Jolly good", said I. 

And on we went. 

The drilling was that of a construction site. Constantly paving into my calcium. I could barely feel what was going on what with my numbing and all. Now we get to the third part, the root of the molar, and CLAMP. I open my eyes. The tube on my left sucks in what looks like gallons of blood. I shut them again. It clouded everything. YANK. Ouch, that didn't work. One more time. YANK. Nope, not this time, we slipped. Let's go again. YANK, YANK, YANK and PA PA - POP. SHIT!!!! And out it came. I have never breathed a bigger sigh of relief. Life resumes.

What the hell are the point of wisdom teeth? Luckily for some of you, you may never need to take them out. But some of you will. I hope this piece has been informative, and has helped soothed your thoughts for the time being.

Oh and did I tell you it's impossible to eat?

xx